Some people think duck is cute and adorable

What should a duck think about such comment?
a) Is the person saying one of those 'some' people? or is he from the rest of poppulation who thinks ducks are ugly?
b) Is it a sincere sympathetic cheer for such a low-life creature? or is it just a sneering comment (what, Why are you a duck? you try to act cute?)
c) Yeah, if one day you gonna grow up to be a beautiful swan, not just an ugly duckling like you are now.

MIM interview

February 4th 2006

My schedule was 2:30-3:00pm slot, they only opened for registration at 2:15 and not any earlier. But they were running late and by the time I get in it was after 3:30! Pity the people in the later slots. But the most pitiful bunch would be the interviewers, think Randy, Paula and Simon in American idol auditions!

While waiting, I overheard a bunch of fresh-grad-look-alikes talking, one of them already went through, he told his gang about the classification that he learned from the orientation day (I didn’t attend, didn’t know when it was) and that the interviewer left the file wide open that he could see his TU-GET and written exam score and he saw his classification as C which mean the lowest class, he was openly upset. He said A is a “definitely in” , I didn’t catch the meaning of other class though nor what other questions are.

It was a long waiting and finally my turn came. Note: The girl who went thru this room before me was a pretty young thing in stylish outfit, think a teenage version of Carrie Bradshaw, she was one of those fresh grads too.

In the interview room:

Me : Good afternoon

Prof T: You should wai Professor B here’s thai

Me : (wai - it's the thai traditional greeting, you put your hands in prayer position and bow your head a little)

Prof B : Have a seat

Me : Thank you

Prof T : So you see we are tough

Me : I’m scared

Prof T : Good. So what have u been doing for 10 years

Me : oh after I graduated, by the way, I graduated from this place..

Prof T: yes we know, we know everything about you. You are working at QAD I&I, is that right?

Me : Not any more, I quitted last November

Prof T : (giving me a piercing look) so you no longer working there? Where do you work now? Me : I’m not working right now, I mean I don’t have a full time job

Prof T : will that be any problems for you paying for the courses

Me : No, that’s not a problem. I’m actually help my family taking care of family asset

Prof T : you mean like collecting rent?

Me : not really. More on the investment and developing empty lands

Prof T : so I’ll put you down as a freelance. I don’t know, we have just too many of them. How long did you work at this QAD II?

Me : Only for 3 months

Prof T : And before that?

Me : Oh! I see, in the application it only asked for the current workplace! Before that I worked for Hewlett Packard in Singapore for 5 years

Prof T : Yes, you have Singaporean accent, that’s so strange.

Me : Is it very strong? I’m trying to cut if off

Prof T : You mean you can change it?

Me : Probably (WHAT IT REALLY MEANS:I'm afraid i'm a complete liar), coz I just pick it up when I was there

Prof T : And before HP?

Me : Guardian industry in Rayong,

Prof T : What’s wrong with you? why did you try to hop around changing jobs and moving countries, do you have a criminal record or something?

Me : No I don’t have any criminal record, but if I have one I’ll make sure it’s nicely wrapped up and nobody alive find it.

Prof T : We are the toughest program in Asia, much tougher than NUS, Blah blah… I don’t see why someone from your profile would want to take this program blah blah blah… why do you dress like this?

Me : (I was in my favorite off-white shirt and well-seasoned office black pants, with a pair of court shoes. And for crying out loud, It’s 32 C outside and people were gathering in front of the university for the rally to expel the PM, plus MIM made us wait 2 hours longer than we suppose to!) So u can take a picture of me for a before vs after shot to place on MIM notice board? seriously, What do you mean, what’s wrong with it?

Prof T : It’s so minimal, you are not trying to market yourself like someone who is so into marketing.You see, I’m wearing a Jacket. In fact, you are like de-marketiing yourself

Me : (laughing) I didn’t try to de-marketing myself. I think this’s a smart casual

Prof T : Are you sure you are not trying to say that you are a rebel by that?

Me : I don’t know (WHAT IT REALLY MEANS:what do i care? u can't deny me a place for what i wear, it's a discrimination!), I do dress up sometimes too (WHAT IT REALLY MEANS: yeah, when i go to a wedding dinner)

Prof T : Don’t worry, I just wonder. Rest assured this has nothing to do whether or not you are going to be accepted to the programme.

Me : Ok, thanks for bringing it up so I know there’s a room for improvement.(WHAT IT REALLY MEANS: rest assured this will mark the highest standard of my dressing sense throughout the study)

Prof T : And one thing I want to mention, normally girls your age have plans for settling down. This program is very demanding and it's very important that the boyfriends understand, this could mean you have to mix with a bunch of guys til 3-4AM for your assignments or someone honking under your windows in the middle of the nights. (looks like he's caught up by his memory here) there was some instances of complications. So I just want to make it clear. Me: I'm prepared for that (WHAT IT REALLY MEANS:I would be celebrating if i ever find myself in such situation)

Prof B : Do you know our regulation?

Me : (totally blank) What regulation?

Prof T : How many times can you miss the class?

Me : Why? I don’t plan to miss one

Prof T : But do you know how many times?

Me : Sorry I don’t know about that rule

Prof T : 3 times a semester, and if you were late, less than 15 mins for 3 times is a missed class. more than 15 minutes late and that’s a missed class.

Me : That’s fair enough. Anyway, people pay good money to get in program. Why would they want to miss any class?

Prof T : Ha ha you are tough. I gonna put you in as definitely accepted and I believe Prof Buarat will have something similar. But that’s not a confirmation, you know in case we put down 90 names but we could take only 80 people.

Me : Understood

Prof T : Go shopping!

Me : Thanks (WHAT IT REALLY MEANS:whaddahecks! i gonna go for my lunch first! u guys made me wait for 3 hours and i'm starving!)

At some point in the middle of the interview, I recall what that young guy said so I scan the paper in Tasman’s hand and I saw the classification is A. I guess they had different sets of questions for each class. I didn't get to talk much during this interview, i don't think they have any idea what i'm about.. but, they don't have to anyway

My green-belt bollywood trainee

It all began in April 2005 -

Prologue

My boss planned since March for another country visit to NZ in the 2nd week of April and wanted me to join her, since she initially agreed to bring another teammate (our newbie back then) - I thought there was no harm going though my resignation would be tendered for May-June timeframe.

Come April, there occurred a reason she needed to postpone the trip to 3rd week of April, being closer to the end of quarter- she decided to bring only one of us, and that was me. I thought about it and came to conclusion that it was not fair to the team if I go for the trip and leave the team in following month when the objective of the visit was to build the rapport with incountry people: counterparts and customers. so I told the boss my plan, there were quite a consequences to my boss after she took my suggestion to ask other teammembers to go in my place (Our lame excuse being my visa application got rejected) but that's a story for another time. The point here is that I actually tendered my resignation in April, for June 30th as my last day...that was nearly 3 months since I first notified her.

Time passed until end of July, the new hired, whom my boss had gone through hiring-freeze nightmare to get this high high high level approval to get her in, couldn't come to work yet as they were still working on her employment pass. Boss asked if i could extend my stay and I agreed to stay on til 8th July (i was still working on my Student Visa that week)

This New hired, who used to be with HP India - a manager for a team there, holding 2 master degrees and earned her green belt from six sigma..was a stellar candidate and we put loads of hope on her potential..,finally arrived slightly earlier than the last update from HR, so she would lap my last 3 days.

Chronicles: Part I

=============
Day 1 -Tuesday :

She came in at AU time (2 hours behind us NZ time), self introduced her history about there were 40 pples reported to her and she supported the customers from 20 eMEA countries. WOW, that's so cool. she just got married to an indian immigrant in SG for 4 months. Masni asked if she was a vegetarian (i think i saw she got a little defensive, but think my eyes were wrong.. why the h**l anyone would get defensive for such question), she was not. To another question from Masni- how old was she? She gave a sheepish smile and said 27 (to which I was a little surprised as I heard otherwise, but perhaps i was misinformed)

Also happened that a key member of our team needed to take an urgent leave from that day for one week, hence i still needed to help the team backing up the load.
After I went through RSAP backlog with her mildly in the afternoon, we didn't have time to go for lunch so we just brought her down to the canteen on 2nd level. she took only fruit..wow so healthy.

first day passed quite smoothly.

Day 2 - Wednesday :

I needed to take MC. sms another teammate that i'd go to office later if i feel better.
4:30am - bollywood girl was the 1st to arrive office,
4:45am - teammates started to come in, BG said she'd not come in on time the next day as there'd be no one around
6:30am - BG asked mentioned teammate to call me to confirm if i was coming - thanks to my teammate's sanity she shot down that suggestion

11am - I decided that i was feeling well enough to go back to work, topped by my teammate's call for help to relieve her from the killer radiation emitting from BG. I sat down with her for a while when she asked what time i'd be coming to the office the next day (to which i retorted that if i weren't to die with food poisoning i wld come at normal time) she asked again for exact normal time (i replied that our normal hours is from 4:30) the case rested til past 1.30pm.

1:40pm : BG declared that she needed to go off as she's been in office since 4:30am and became tired and she needed to rest, perfectly fine with me - u served your time, u earned the right to rest.
But, then she asked me yet two more times what time exactly i'd be in office the next day so she could plan & manage her time, to this point i got so irritated hence my reply was curtly 'our normal time is from 4.30 - but we are all human here, however. So even if someone arrives late, that doesn't mean that you should follow'

she got all worked up and questioned me how (dare me) could i got her that wrong..and went on her superlative background (same old story, 40 pple reported to her, she supported 20 eMEA countries, that kind of responsibility was no joke, i shld respect her experience, maturity, commitment level. The idea is she'd never follow anyone blah blah blah..) and insisted that she needed that info so she could manage her time efficiently (yah, right, busara is 15 mins late there are so many thing i could do alone in the office at 4:30am..)

I shared with my boss on this encounter when I had a chat with her at the end of the day, she couldn't believe such ridiculous behavior - but we agreed to give it a rest as it was just her 2nd day. Boss asked if i could extend 1 more week to see how BG taking her roles - I was to confirm by Thursday. BG also called Boss to 'give her daily update' and mentioned the confrontation and said she was worried she might have upset me..yah..like she really cared about how I think other than to give boss her version of story.

Day 3 - Thursday :

I paranoidly reached office early to make sure i wasn't late - such a waste of my effort, BG didn't show up till near 5am. she looked bit mellow down and later told us she got migraine and she was hungry.. (she asked for the left over toast 5 mins after she rejected Veronica's offer to make her a fresh one.. i dunno abt others, but to me that was one of the grossest moment..yucks) -- I can't bare to witness the gross sight of she gorging in our leftover so I denied her request. Instead, I took her to the pantry to have oatmeal and milk - we bumped into AU team and someone who bought in Indian breakfast, i left her in the pantry with that gang and she returned to seat sweet 10 mins. later ....

At lunch, we went to Ikea's cafe - BG proposed to go Burger King instead as she felt the food in cafe didn't look as filling enough -- we went ahead with the Cafe anyway-BG took a local delight's bee hoon and overenjoyed it..no need BK anymore

In the afternoon she expressed her suffering on the timing that she couldn't absorb the things i taught her in the morning --huh! so you meant i wasted my time teaching you stupid slumber ass!!..ok.. so i took the initiative to talk to boss asking to allow her to come in AU time during the training period. I got the approval. Boss asked again on my decision to extend for 1 more week--since BG seem to mellowed down now - I thought she learnt her lesson from the previous encounter and improving herself- so I said ok, i could extend.

Abt 10am SG time she asked for some biscuit claiming she was starving (that was about 2 hours after we finsihed our lunch)...she became as loud as usual again when her stomach is filled, interrupting while i was telling her something by asking jump-ahead questions and demand a hands-on session.

She left on time, asking many repeating questions before that as she must give boss a daily update on what she learnt.

Day 4 -Friday:

She arrive late for an AU time. I agreed to let her hand-on in the morning half and go thru next report in afternoon, ended up whole day hand-on as she rationalized her way that i would be in office for one more week- plenty of time for reports.. She also suggested that I should give my 100% focus on training her as it should be my top priority. My problem were : A)I couldn't identify her as my descendant just yet, as her access and email address still hadn't come along, B)Veron, who acted as my backup was overwhelmed with all her own accounts and reports (the other teammate was still on his urgent leave and Masni already fully-back him up) BG didn't suggest any solution for those problems (sounds like a typical bitch boss from hell? always want to load you with more top priority while never help unloading the current work we have in-hand)

Lunch at Disti-park (aka the Sauna) - I asked her how the AU time suited her for the day, she said still didn't have enough sleep coz she went to bed later than 2am, reason - fought with her husband..oh, ok.
She joined in for all the shared dish we ordered, asking with deep interest on individual food (especially Veron's char siew mee, remember BG doesn't take pork), when her food arrived, she excused herself for eating Tosai with hands, but after she finished the chicken wing she complained that she always need fork&knife to eat chicken wings (her result for that day was so much cleaner than I could ever perform on my chicken wing though)
I'd to leave office slightly early to go to US embassy but BG has to do her time til 3:30pm. Reluctantly I left my system on for her to play with SAP (witness said she surfed the net and read yahoo mail almost all the time)

Day 5 - Monday :

I arrived to see my PC was left on, monitor was switched off. Stunned. I turn the monitor on and found BG's resume saved on my desktop..hmm.her birth year was the same as what I first heard of, according to her resume, she couldn't be 27 unless she couldn't do the simplest math (2005 minus 1996 equals 29!).The system was kind of hung or working offline, so i need to reboot before using it for my daily routine.
When my teammate arrived, I told them about the birthday I discovered - everyone was amused.. why must she lie on her age, wanting to be the youngest in the team that bad? haha.. if we sum up all the things she told us, she must hv been a manager since the age of 21.. bravo!
Finally when BG came in (AU time plus 20 mins), I asked her about the system, she insisted that she knew how to switch off the computer and that she had done so on Friday. If what she said she did is true - she shut down windows and followed by press the start/stop button on the CPU ...Stunned once more.. i explained to her that she need not touch the CPU once she shut windows down as it'd reboot the system. She gave a few more defensive remark (never hv to do that in India blah blah blah) before I left that day I switched off my PC, she wasn't around. Later Veron told me that she asked Veron to log on for her to read yahoo email again.

Day 6 - Tuesday:

Second time I came to office and see my system on, same scenario, off monitor, CPU running offline. When BG came in (still late even for AU time) I asked her did she use my pc the previous day, she admitted but insisted that she switched it off conciously as she remembered i asked her on monday. So I told her that then there must have been some people come to play around with my pc which never happened before, she pulled a face.
i needed to leave office early that day

Day 7 - Wednesday:

PC off properly today. I was bogged down since morning, Jackie came to ask for number she asked me before I left on Tue, so I rushed it for her, miss BG pulled another black face.

Can't get the report done before jackie gotta leave for her training so the announcement was just to inform the team kee wei (the one taking urgent leave the prev week, just back today) is moving out to join a new team.
Lunch at Com tech, BG bugged everyone for attention how she gonna order her food (wanting to copy what she saw veron ordered another day, but not satisfied with pointing to the uncle--) and ended up ordering 2 big plates of food. When she saw my & Veron's soup she asked for the crabstick and tofu respectively. Ok, they dun have this 2 in India.

So.. Boss asked me to do the analysis on workload for each account for the next day discussion on reassignment, I needed to get it done first so didn't talk to BG for a few hours, when I was done, she disappeared.. mind me..another day gone without getting through CDD/CRD analysis..which was one of the most highest calibred task under my R&R. I found her at TH team's area asking them to show her how they review their backlog so she could compare and find the best way to handle it and not blindly follow just what NZ team taught her. Feedback from TH was that BG ended up debated that TH way is not as wholesome as NZ had more steps...tell them for what.. want them to follow NZ process????

Veron and I had appointment at 3pm that day so we planned to leave on the dot, turned out that the best we could do was 2pm. After seeing the long face for the whole day I offerred to leave my system on so BG could use SAP but when I was leaving she refused to station at my desk (having more session with other pple) so I told her I didn't feel comfortable and secure that noone attend an open system, she made a sound through her nostrils as though I was talking rubbish then reached over to switch off the monitor and looked at me like i was an idiot not knowing how to solve such an obvious case..at this point, my jaw dropped. I tried to explain that dark screen doesn't protect the system towhich she retorted 'fine, if u don't feel comfortable just turn it off, I could ask someone else to log in for me'.. Of course I did, immedialy she turned to asked Veron for help. Veron turned her flat down, I would be surprised if she responded otherwise after seeing the whole commotion. BG exclaimed that Nobody let her use the access as thought it's our crime.. she was completely unaware of who gave such a snobbish challenge not 2 minutes ago (answer = herself).. grow up big shot!

Day 8 - Thursday :

We continued the discussion from Wednesday, BG had the gut to come in almost 30 min late (already by AU timing). Discussion today was about account redistribution, BG was very vocal to pick the project that she favored though some of them she didn't even realize what it really is! (just for the record, Genesis is a program fr financial claim, she kept insisting that she wanted Genesis while what she actually wanted was another program for physical claim...)

Lunch at Labrador park, Darren came to join masni & KW and masni played a prank about BG's age.. she insisted she was 27 (though she's born in 1976 comparing to Darren who said he's 27 but born in 1978)

After lunch, got to go through CDD/CRD finally - she chose to watch me doing the analysis for one more time (the fact was I couldn't waste all my while waiting for her and I had finished the analysis prior to this - So i went through quite quicky) when I finished she didn't have any questions and assured me that this is a piece of cake for her --again something that went along the line of her fabulous 6 years xperience as a manager.. reporting and an analysis are her specialties. Afterward she tried to sound me up about the resistance of her taking on the Zenith project.. was interrupted by others so i managed to escape giving out my comment.. (come on man, it's awkward. If she's a nice person i wouldn't see anything wrong with her taking over the project, any one of them. But b**c*y as she is, I'd have a real difficult time trying to stay neutral)

Day 9 - Friday: so it's my actual last day at work.. woopie!

BG late as usual, i started to get used to it (my last day anyway, why'd I care) She bugged me while I was busy getting ready for my exit interview..I actually said YES to her request to use my system to practise -- but she still pulled another black face coz I didn't let her finished her yet another longwinded speech and I didn't even look at her after I grab the gist of what she wanted.. even my neighbor got affected by this childish attitude..

Nevermind, 'it's my last day here' i consoled myself ang carried on with task at hand -- after exit interview I had a few exchanges with her and she revealed that some of the managers really hv good impression of her and even asked her to consider working for him when the time is right... good for them.

Lunch, something special as my treat to the team (they gave me a lovely farewell present too!) and someone let slip of our plan to go out together afterwork that day, BG didn't realize she wasn't invited and mentioned sth like we've been having heavy meal and will have another one at 1.30 (btw, how could she suppose herself to join if we go out at that time - she came in AU time!) After the rest showed no interest in sharing with her the plan she finally got the idea and Guess what.. another black face episode.


She'd been using my system since morning, when I went over to say goodbye before leaving the office, I asked her to help me shut down the system and she agreed very firmly that i could rest assured she'd take care of it.

Following Saturday I dropped by to pick up some stuff I forgot at office.. can u guess what I found? My system was left on, AGAIN, and OVER THE WEEKEND!!!! What kind of person is she to not understand such common sense not to use anything when its rightful owner told you not to???? I was dumbstruck .. this is not something 'Culture shock' could justify..not in a million years

Well, that was my last official encounter. By now it should be clear why I coined her bollywood girl as she's proven to be a drama queen and superbly good at acting. The following's the updates from teammate after I left the company:

Chronicles: Part II

=============

Day 10 : Monday

BG came in almost 6am (10 am NZ time), she got her NT logon and email address. They helped her setup the computer. someone said they needed my logon to add her to the computer users.. She added on to Veron that once she got hold of my password, please get to outlook and forward all my emails to her..Veron frayed and told her off with some advice on ethical common sense.

Day 11 : Tuesday

I went to have lunch with Veron, about 11am BG showed up at the same canteen - she tagged along with other 2 trainees from India who came to train with AU team..
Before that, I heard about how BG being so wellreceived among managers, trusted on the roles of regional rep for Zenith (hullo!) and will be mapped in the migration project and will fly to AU to understudy their current process. And she took on those role without our manager knowing..super cool ain't she.. (",)
..

Day 14 : Friday

words are she still comes to work near 6am (skeptic viewed that she just want to be in office before boss arrives -- think she doesn't know about the cabcharge report yet)

the blur HR called my extension - BG picked up- asked MG for my mobile phone#, MG told her to ask for contact# and she'll inform me.. BG fumed up on why couldn't M told her my cell# and just hungup without getting HR contact.

She also at one point told M that she wasnt taught how to remove ZI block in RSAP.. hillarious..(hey, Miss Veron - u ought to be my eye witness, aren't u?)

Day 15 : Monday

I went back to meet Boss and return the company belonging, out to lunch with the team - all this without running into BG *smirk*

remember the CDD/CRD analysis which she assured me she's very comfortable with -- the one I showed her through twice and she had no single question on? today the team had the BFT review in the morning (btw, her clockin was 6am) and boss asked some probing question and BG's reply was she doesn't know anything becoz I was the one doing those analysis..*i was really impressed she had the guts to say that out loud*

Had a brief chat with J and learned that the real reason behind BG landing the regional rep role for Zenith was Gloria is actually quitting and they desparately needed someone to take over.. BG stepped up at the right place at the right time -- perfect choice! hush-hush, this's my own conclusion from all those bits i collected.

After I left I heard from the others that J had a talk with BG and it seem of an dissatisfactory one considered the color of BG face when she walked out. You may start by guessing what time she coming in the following morning?

Day 16 : Tuesday

She came in at 6:10 (carefully timed now, by the concerning teammates) seem J's warning has not daunted her any bit.

Day 18 : Thursday

I went back to have lunch with the team on special occasions (my official farewell + BG welcome)

Heard about the showdown on the day before – BG managed to get herself an approval from boss to work AU time for this week. On Wednesday she arrived at 6:45 and today at 7:10.